It’s my nanna’s birthday this coming week and I feel really sad because I can’t be there to give her a hug.
My mum emailed me to say one of my cousins is making a scrapbook for her and wants me to have something to say in it but I just have no idea what I can say other than I love you and I miss you.
She said that they all went around on Saturday, my cousins took their boyfriends with them and it’s just like, so normal to them to be hanging out together with family and that’s something I never get to have because I’m so far away and even if we weren’t, Jordan just doesn’t like being around my family at all. It makes me sad that she never even met my cousins or wanted to spend time getting to know my grandparents.
Like, I have a lot of people on her side of the family that I haven’t met yet, but at least I’m willing and wanting to be a part of it.
Regardless, I miss my grandparents and it’s hard being so far away sometimes.

Hmm so I’m probably gonna end up not doing airsoft? The place is about 15 miles away which is gonna be expensive to get to. And there’s only like 6 people who go?
There’s a bigger group further south and they have a private field but it’s even harder to get to and idk if it’s wort all the effort. I’m gonna look into the one further south, Jordan said theres a group that uses the field she larps in but idk if it’s them.

Ahh a military plane just did a flyby over the harbour and I’m now all excited and buzzy. Haha planes do that to me.
Jordan isn’t even awake yet, we were up until 3.30am having a talk about things regarding a particular person I don’t want her being friends with anymore.
Sucks to be the first thing you talk about on your anniversary but I suppose it needed to happen. I’m hoping that this is the end of having to talk about what happened last month and we can move forward together.
We also had amazing sex too but I think the conversation overshadowed me remembering that first this morning.

Anyway I’m about to wake her up and hope that she wants to get up and go on our date watching the racing :)

We just went to the gym and suddenly I got this intense feeling of what is even the point. My motivation just disappeared and I feel like crap. I tried to push through but it just made things worse so I eventually just gave in and sat by the water and waited for Jordan to finish.

So I think I’m gonna be spending around 600$ on airsoft gear?? That isn’t even everything I’d like to get but it’s a good start and should keep me going for a while.
Tomorrow is Jordan and I’s two year wedding anniversary and we are ~hopefully going to check out the Nanaimo bathtub racing on the harbour. Idk, when it comes to doing stuff with me she doesn’t usually want to spend very long doing it so I doubt it’ll be a day out thing. But at least she isn’t going to be at larp.
So a guy in our building offered me some work helping him paint some other building and i went along the night before last but yesterday I figured it’s probably like really illegal and I really don’t wanna do anything jeopardise staying with Jordan so we told him that I’m not gonna help him out and the money he was going to give me for the 3 hours I did, he can keep.
He seemed a bit of a misogynist and also smoked a bunch of pot in the truck and ugh I hate that smell.
Right now I’m pretty bored and idk what to do with myself. I’m playing battlefield 1943 on the play station but it’s getting kinda old and I’m just like “ahh I just wanna go play airsoft and do it for real and make some friends”
So I’m super excited to get my kit when I can. I think Jordan will be getting her money this week so it’ll probably be in the next couple of weeks that we can order.

Oh god. My mum is gonna be here in 5 weeks.
I’m excited but I’m also nervous because I haven’t seen her in so long

Ahh I like occasionally posting comments in the airsoft group making myself known ever so casually. :3